Now that Tod-lar is a mature 26 months old, the time has
come for him to learn to use the potty.
Rather than adopt a “potty training” perspective, Husband
and I have decided to don the “toilet learning” one. Our goal is to
have Tod-lar become “one” with the potty before going out in our pool.
We have decided to use this zen approach because I suffer
from a horrible disease common to mental health professionals known as
TMI. This disease can be frightening to the point of debilitating
because having it means you have far too much information about the infinite
ways you can traumatize your child, possibly scarring him for life. Potty
training is No. 1 on the list of “Ways to Permanently Damage Your Child’s
Emotional Well-being.” So, to insure Tod-lar’s future is not filled
with kicking puppies, compulsive masturbation, or Depends,
we thought the easing-into-it approach would be best.
What does this approach entail? Don’t ask
me. It should be quite obvious from this post I have no idea
what I’m doing. But as far as I can tell, this approach involves a
lot of talking about the potty, a lot of sitting on the potty, but no actual peeing
or defecating in the potty – at least not yet, but we've only been at it for
three days.
The first day was a little tough because Tod-lar refused to
even sit on the potty. He just kept saying, “Can’t do it.” Fortunately,
I was prepared for this and had some nifty motorcycle stickers on hand with
which to bribe him. He’s been sitting on the potty ever since – in
fact, he’s still there now as I write this post.
My goal is to have him using the potty for its true purpose
and not just a lounge chair by the end of the year. In the interim,
we’re helping him work on dressing and brushing his teeth by himself. (I
read somewhere – and there goes TMI, rearing its ugly head – that a toddler’s
reluctance to potty train has to do with an unwillingness to take over the
caregiver’s duties. In the child’s mind, it’s like giving up the
caregiver.) Next, we’ll teach him to use the microwave. Hopefully,
he’ll be ready to get his own apartment by the summer.
In the meantime, the question remains: Will this toilet learning
approach work?
