Saturday, December 22, 2012

In Their Shoes

English: Photo of Jonathan G. Meath portraying...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[This time of year, there’s a lot screaming at the mall as parents, desperate to obtain cute photos of their tots with the bringer of toys, force their scared little ones onto Santa’s lap.  Just imagine how this must feel from the child’s perspective . . .]

Boy, there sure are a lot of people here.  I wish Mama hadn’t dressed me in this stupid outfit.  Now I’m kind of embarrassed.  And what is this stupid thing hanging from my neck anyway?

I’m bored.  Why are we standing here?  And why is that kid screaming?  What . . . OHMIGod!  OHMIGOD!  What is THAT?  Is that a person?  It has two legs, two arms, and head, but I don’t see any mouth or skin.  Maybe it’s an animal . . . or an alien Wait . . . what is that mama doing?  Why is she handing over her kid to the giant red, fuzzy alien animal?  RUN, KID!  RUN!  I don’t know what that thing is, but I bet it eats little kids!  I mean, look how FAT it is!  QUICK!  RUN, KID! 

Where’s that flashing coming from?  Is that . . . is that a camera? Is that green thing with the pointy ears taking a picture?  OHMIGOD!  I get it now!  This is like some weird fetish thing!  They’re taking pictures . . . and the kid’s Dada is taping his kid getting eaten by a red, fuzzy alien animal!  They’re probably going to sell this on the internet.  WHAT KIND OF SICK PEOPLE ARE YOU?!  RUN, KID! OVER HERE!  RUN TOWARDS ME!  MY MAMA WILL PROTECT YOU! 

Mama?  Did you see that?  Did you see what the other mama did?  CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

Whew.  The mama finally rescued that poor kid.  Oh, thank God.  Can we go home now, Mama?  This whole thing has just been so upsetting.  I mean . . . wait, what are you doing?  Where are we going, Mama?  WHY ARE WE WALKING TOWARDS THE GIANT RED, FUZZY ALIEN ANIMAL, MAMA? WHAT?!  YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!  ARE YOU CRAZY?  DID YOU SEE HOW THAT THING ALMOST ATE THAT OTHER KID?  NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT I’M AT THE STRANGER ANXIETY STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? 


What . . . what did you just say to me, you alien animal?  WHO YOU CALLING “HO?!”  I AIN’T NO HO!  AND I GOT ME SOME LADIES DOWN AT THE PARK TO PROVE IT!  STOP SAYING “HO!”  Oh, God.  It does have a mouth, and I can see its teeth every time it talks!  MAAMAA!  IT HAS TEETH, AND IT KEEPS CALLING ME “HO!” 

Was that a flash?  ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES?!  GET THAT CAMERA OUTTA MY FACE, DADA!  I HATE YOU!  I HATE YOU ALL!  I got to get out of here.  Run.  I have to run.

Oh, MAMA!  FINALLY!  You saved me from the red, fuzzy alien animal. YOU MEANIE!  I HATE YOU! 

Hold me.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

A Review of Children’s Fiction - Watership Down

Cover of "Watership Down (Puffin Modern C...
(Puffin Modern Classics)

Watership Down is excellent children’s fiction, written by Richard Adams and published by Puffin Books. The book is an excellent children’s book which I thoroughly enjoyed reading for the second time. A classic to be found at any children’s books online store. Now that I have just finished the book I am not at all surprised that this book was ranked the 42nd greatest book in a survey of the British Public by the Big Read in 2003.

The book starts with a premonition by one of the rabbits that their warren will be destroyed and so the five rabbits decide to abandon their home. This is the beginning of their epic travels across the country and their close scrapes in the search for a new home. 

There has been quite rightly criticism for the role that female rabbits play in the book. The females do not have anywhere near an equal role to the male rabbits. The only role that the females bring is to allow for reproduction to take place. If there is reproduction then the longevity of the Watership down warren is then assured.

The book certainly has green credentials, through the rabbit world that the reader is taken into. I do not think there is any doubt in this. The only question is how green is the book? Is the book all green or almost green? Finally, I come down on the side of almost green despite the destruction of the rabbits their environment and warrens.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Dinosaurs Love Underpants - a book for kids - will make you all laugh

Dinosaurs Love Underpants, published by Simon and Schuster, a book for kids is written to entertain and to make your child and you both laugh. Without doubt it will make you laugh and for sure will become a bedtime favorite story for your two year old.

The book is written by Claire Freedman and illustrated by Ben Cort who both have a crazy creativity and imagination. It is this kind of imagination that helps children fall in love with books. This is what helps to make children avid readers for the rest of their lives.

The second time I read this book for kids, I noticed the sense of humor coming through in the words, which I had missed in my first read of the book. The dinosaurs have very expressive faces and who sometimes look fearsome. Their faces tell you exactly if the dinosaur is winning or losing in the grand battle.

Tomorrow morning, when I put on my underpants I am certainly going to think of them differently, before I go off to check out children’s books online.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Does Caffeine and Pregnancy Mix?

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 31:  Two-liter bottles of r...
(Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

What do you think about drinking caffeine during pregnancy? I used to have an application on my iPhone (before I switched to the Droid) to a pregnancy board. I noticed that many people seemed a little fanatical about not drinking any caffeine at all during their pregnancies while others are more lax. I would fall into the more lax category. I don’t drink coffee but I do partake in diet Pepsi daily (since I am addicted). My doctor said two a day was perfectly fine so I stick to her recommendation.

I drank diet soda the entire time I was pregnant with my first son and he is actually quite bright and in perfect health. I do understand that soda is not healthy at all but I do not drink anything except diet Pepsi and water so that is my justification. I think the key is everything in moderation. Do you have a different perspective?